newstvSome news programme by the looks of it. A few people sat on designer chairs and one guy – the presenter most likely – sat separately, asking some shit or other. The camera cuts to an Asian looking guy. Beard, glasses, smock covering him up to the neck – some kind of cleric or holy man, maybe. Not exactly what the integration mafia would dig, but it’s still a free country; free enough for folks to wear what the hell they want. Hell, Friday nights you got all these damned students wearing all manner of creepy garb; flares and platforms and other bright and psychedelic bullshit. No one seems to mind about them let alone the ones with painted pallor and black everything else including fishnet stockings, stacked heels, super-straight hair, shiny lipstick, and shinier nail polish – and that’s just the blokes.

The holy man opens his mouth and starts talking even more shit than the presenter. This guy seems pissed off – firing on more cylinders than he’s got. Within a few seconds, he’s got himself real worked up. Ranting. Unhinged. Maybe, I’m thinking, maybe he’s one of us. Then again, maybe not – maybe he’s one of those crazy A-rabs you keep hearing about. Either way, there’s no relief because he’s there as a Muslim – to present his point of view which is ready to be taken as a widely held one. Could be I’m wrong but his performance looks bad and sounds a hell of a lot worse. Just what we need, another loony tunes pissing oil all over the flames.
‘It’s shit,’ says Tab. ‘This is so fucking shit, you know that.’
Ten, one of a few older drivers that I don’t know too well, seems just as annoyed:
‘Typical,’ he says. ‘But what do you expect? These fools, they find them, give them a platform and make us all look bad.’

The presenter asks someone else to come in and respond. It’s a middle-aged looking guy but he seems okay: grey suit, a greying beard and a nice pair of cufflinks occasionally sparkling off the studio lights. He seems moderate. Calm, rational and peaceful. Hell, when he starts to speak, the man seems intelligent. As one, we breath a mental sigh of relief.
‘This is more like it,’ says Tab. ‘This guy’s alright.’

As the man with the mind gets into his flow, the holier than thou loony tunes pipes in and starts having a go, calling him a sell-out, a hypocrite and not a proper Muslim. The presenter asks Loony Tunes to shut up but he’s not listening. Keeps going on and on. For the next few minutes, the other people on the panel try getting in their tuppence worth but Loony Tunes won’t let them. Some young Muslim woman, scarf on her head, Oxbridge education under her belt and middle-class upbringing coming out of her mouth tries speaking over him but he’s not having it for a second.
‘Fuckinell,’ says Tab. ‘This is a joke, man.’

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